Ticker

Showing posts with label scared. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scared. Show all posts

Friday, July 19, 2013

Steroids and weight gain

Being an asthmatic and sick is no fun. Part of the joy of it is having to take steroids so you can breathe. No, they aren't anabolic steroids...they're corti-steroids which reduce inflammation and help my lungs relax. Yay for breathing, but along with it comes weight gain, grumpiness, insomnia and a general lack of energy. I only have 1 more day of them, thank goodness. They resulted in a gain of 4 pounds this week...ugh. They also make you hungrier, which doesn't help the matter.

When I was a kid, my well meaning grandmother got me a cat for Christmas. Soon after, my mom found me on the sofa after school barely breathing. When we got to the doctor, my asthma had returned with a vengeance and I was immediately put on a grip of steroids. Within the year I had gained 85 pounds. As a ballet and tap dancer, this was devastating. It changed my whole world and was sick to my stomach with an ulcer by the end of the year. I ended up taking myself off of all of them and just avoiding anything and everything that triggered my asthma.


It is that weight which I'm still trying to get rid of now at 34 years old. 25 years of weight from those steroids. I can forget sometimes why I got here, but moments like this...having to be back on them and seeing things change so quickly...reminds me of it all and the struggle I had at such a young age. It makes me grateful to have a strong prayer life now, a strong support system now, and the self-esteem to talk about it so that it no longer has a hold on my emotional health.

I know that next week I will be back on track and feeling great, this is just a blip, but it stinks just the same.


Thursday, May 30, 2013

Scales and Alligators

An alligator will look at you, consider attacking and perhaps decide to let you off with a curious glance, making you certain of your safety; or so you thought. They can sneak up behind you, quick as lightening and attack, leaving you deeply damaged or dead.

Like alligators, scales should be treated with caution. A scale, if used properly, can be an instrument to tell you whether or not you're heading in the right direction. A scale might look harmless, but you can't "un-know" what it will tell you. You might step on it feeling great; you know you haven't overeaten, you have been exercising, you KNOW it will give you good news.

And then it doesn't.

And like a sneaky alligator, suddenly your thoughts begin to spiral, leaving you damaged or dead inside. You didn't see it coming and now the pretty day you woke up to feels like a hot subway station and you just need air.

WHY?

No matter what you tell yourself...muscle weighs more than fat, water weight could be to blame, weight fluctuates, etc...media and society base everything on the numbers on the scale. Instead of throwing on your favorite jeans and thinking, "Wow, they're loose!" we are trained to hop on a scale to determine what our mood should be for the day. Sounds like the voice from another post on here!

But how can you fix that???

Well there's different answers for everyone. For me, praying and determining my response to the number beforehand are a major factor. I can face it if I don't feel attached to the number. If I am in a place where I look at it as a tool to see what IS and IS NOT working, during a period of transition in my diet. Once transitioned, it's generally better for me to basically avoid them, as one bad "weigh-in" can make me doubt everything I've worked on since the last one. And those thoughts from earlier...muscle weighs more than fat, water weight could be to blame, weight fluctuates...are TRUE! But turning your thoughts from negative to positive take a LOT of practice, and sometimes I'm just not there.

If you're one of those weirdos who isn't affected by those numbers, awesome! Share your secrets!! If you're not, like most of us, stack it at the top of your closet and only break it out when you run into it. Spring cleaning! OH - time to weigh in! Your body and mind will thank you :)