Getting noticed

If you've never weighed a whole lot...or never lost it...you won't know the info below. Even if you have dropped a lot of weight, you may not have noticed what I'm about to tell you. Being a people-watcher extraordinaire, I have observed the following:

It's kind of weird that every stage of weight has it's own category of attention. 15 pounds ago I was in the "invisible" category; the place where no one really looks at you except random homeless people. This stage is actually a big reason people get to that high of a weight. Much research has gone into the psyche of being overweight and has found that most people are heavy to protect themselves in some way. It's usually sub-conscious, but it is rare to find someone like me...someone overweight who likes attention.

Now I'm in the "noticed in passing" stage where people notice me again and are beginning to have judgement in their looks. It's important to note that at no stage do I care about these varying degrees of reaction/attention; I just find people fascinating (hey, my degree is in Sociology). I love to make mental notes of different things as I people watch in a feeble attempt to understand how people think. It makes the time on the train feel shorter :)

As someone who has lost a significant amount of weight before in my life, I know I will soon drop into the "Noticed and possible competition" category. This category carries with it a bit harsher judgement. When you're being judged because someone thinks of you as "fat," they are judging your overall appearance. When you're being judged because you might be a potential competitor, the judgement becomes about everything...how your hair is done, what your lips looks like, whether your shoes match your purse, if your toe nails are painted, etc. Girls are ridiculous. Again, let me reiterate, I'm able to notice this because it amuses me. Woman have NO idea what men actually see in a girl, so we judge each other based on what we see. The funny thing is that when a girl judges another on all that, it has no basis in her competitive edge. I get hit on more in sweats and a hair tie than I ever do when I'm perfectly coiffed. And I get hit on by more married men than single ones. Figure that one out!

I mention all this merely because I can. Being someone who's self-esteem is firmly planted without regard to others, I thoroughly enjoy watching people's reactions to each other, including me. Being intuitive, I usually know what they're thinking, so I love to look them in the eye. It's fun to watch their reaction when they realize I know. I don't know how this communication exchange takes place, but some day we'll discover people are more telepathic than science currently attests to. Until then I will just continue to enjoy, observe and report back to you what I find.

Cheat days

Included in my "plan" are various kinds of cheat days. Once a week I can have 1800 calories and once a month I can have an unlimited day. This weekend I took both, haha. Having a visitor in town...my mom...means we are out and about more than usual. I enjoyed some Italian on Saturday and then Sunday had Chinese for lunch, Mexican for dinner AND some fro-yo with toppings for dessert. Hey, I'm a multi-cultural foodie.

What was awesome was that in neither case did I feel out of control, in neither case did I blow the rest of the day just because of those meals, and in neither case did I wake up feeling hungrier than normal. I decided when I made the "plan" that my big cheat day a month would be followed by a shake day to help re-regulate my blood sugar. I'm halfway through that today and feel great! I'm a little tired, and excited for my salad in an hour or so, but other than that I'm not weird out about it and I'm not trying to talk myself into eating instead.
Progress!

Back in Black

This morning I got to put on my favorite work pants! They haven't fit in 6 months! It's always a reassuring feeling when something you know didn't fit goes on like they're made for you. They aren't my favorite old jeans...those will take a while longer to fit into again; but when I gained weight last year and things started to stop fitting, my favorite work pants had to be put away. I knew someday they'd fit again. Today is the day! Yay!

Last night I went to a marketing event for a friend. The event featured whiskey tasting, fresh baked goods and was held in a full scale restaurant. I did not attempt to go without research first. I gotta say, the more prep you do before an outing, the easier things go. Before I went, I looked up where we were going to see the food situation. I knew there would be alcohol and goodies, so I knew I'd need to eat. Looking through the menu, the french dip called to me. Surprises of all surprises, they are actually NOT a lot of calories! About 400, which is a totally fine calorie count for dinner. Obviously that is not including the french fries, which I just shared with everyone...fries aren't really my thing.

After a single whiskey tasting and my amazing sandwich, I was far too full to even consider a bite of the baked goods...which included cupcakes, lemon-raspberry bars and some other delicious looking treats. When I got home, I had my vitamins (I look forward to them all day) and just really wanted water. The sodium in the au jus sauce made me thirsty!!! Aside from that, it was a successful night. And I awoke to discover I've dropped another 3 pounds this week! Yay me!

Celebrating small victories

While attempting to change anything about one's character or lifestyle, I think it's important to celebrate when you make a clear good decision that is the opposite of your norm. Last night I got to attend a private event in the Soaked Mondrian Rooftop Bar & Lounge. The event was to showcase DAVIDsTEA and their partnership with the bar to create tea infused cocktails for the summer.

I got a glass of iced tea, Coconut Grove - AMAZING, took literally two sips of an Apple Orchard Martini and walked over to the dessert table. I looked at the chocolate chip cookies, powdered sugar dusted brownies and fruit tarts with longing. For about 5 seconds. I immediately thought about how I'd feel after...hungrier, somewhat sick to my stomach and not satiated.

And I said no.

What was awesome was that it wasn't just one of the voices in my head that said no. The reasoning was strong enough for both "me"s to agree it was a bad idea. For anyone who thinks...ya, but it was just cookies and brownies...you should know that I could happily survive on brownies, orange juice and my grandmothers cheese potatoes without ever wanting anything else to eat for the rest of my life. I consider brownies to be their own food group. Saying no without remorse to my absolute favorite food is VERY liberating.

Ironically I then got home and had trouble eating enough calories for the day. After saying in my last post that I never go below 1200, I finished the day at 1105. And still was glad I hadn't had the brownie :)

Workouts, calories and BMR

When I took Kinesiology classes in college I learned about the BMR and what it means in terms of calories. I needed a refresher to make sure I was making good choices.

The BMR (if you don't know) is your body's Basal Metabolic Rate. It is the calories your body burns over a 24 hour period, not including any activity. So if you are a couch potato, then that is an accurate number. For all activity above that, you add to the number.

So what?

Well, if you want to stay the same weight, hit that number as an average every day. That means it's okay to go over that number some days and under others and you'll average out to that number.


Your body reacts to consistent change, so if you eat above that number for weeks you'll gain weight, if you eat below it for weeks, you'll lose weight. For the most part. Keep reading...

Each pound of fat is 3500 calories. So if you want to lose a pound a week, deduct 500 calories a day from that number. If you want to lose 2, deduct 1000. To deduct that much, you'll need to be exercising a lot because if you eat fewer than 1100 calories a day your body will go into starvation mode and stop burning calories. At that point preservation is key and your body defends itself against death by beginning to run on less energy. This isn't healthy.

I have been trying to stay within a 1300-1500 calorie range per day. I do NOT go below 1200 and seem to feel best on right around 1400. On days I exercise I'm actually less hungry, but I make sure to get it all in anyway. Protein shakes and yogurt save the day for me as contrary to popular belief, not all overweight people like eating. Certain foods, yes; but actual shopping, preparing, chewing, cleaning, etc. I find tediously boring.

That's actually part of the problem. I prefer to eat "easy" foods...cookies, cakes and bread are all basically pre-digested and you could swallow them without chewing if you wanted to. This means those foods don't take energy to burn, so eating them is sending sugar straight into your blood. This in turn makes you want more, but you never feel full.

Protein shakes and yogurt are ALSO easy to eat, require no prep and create no dirty dishes. Thank goodness! I still make sure to have a good sized salad every day, multi-vitamins (hello adult gummies!!) and some kind of healthy carb (usually rice), but for breakfast (my least favorite meal of the day...but the most important) I get to grab a chocolate protein shake. Chocolate for breakfast!

That way when I get to the gym, I have the energy needed to do my workout! And I remember to deduct calories burned, of course :)

Sample BMR (aka mine):

Height 5'7
Weight 282 (was 294 when I started!)
Age 34
Female
BMR - 2036.2

Calories burned today: 170

Total calorie burning today: 2206.2

Calories I'll eat: 1400ish

806.2 calories burned alive, never to return.

Hormones and protein

As a woman, and I'm sure to a lesser degree men too, hormones play a huge role in my emotions, my decisions and my level of hunger. In addition, the kinds of foods I want change based on hormone fluctuations. Curious about how I would handle that with my new way of eating and looking at food, I was a bit afraid yet eager to see what changes, if any, I would experience.

The answer: Almost none.

Yesterday my mood changed the same way it always has, my level of energy was lower, I felt like I was "hit by a truck" (a common way a girl describes the feeling), muscle aches came and went, etc. And yet only at around 4 did I feel more hungry than any other day. I allowed myself an additional snack and more fat than on other days.

When I counted up the calories, though, they were STILL under 1500 for the day! Because I aim for 1300 each day, hitting 1500 is within my daily allowance. I want fluctuations so that my metabolism stays high. And even on a day when I would normally eat at least 1000 more calories than any other day, I didn't. I didn't need it.

I think it's because of ONE thing. Protein. I start every day with a chocolate protein shake (GNC Total Lean). They have 25 grams of protein, 170 calories and only 2 grams of sugar. They're a great way to start the day because protein does so many good things for your blood sugar, level of hunger and energy. By doing this each day, I think my blood sugar leveled out well enough to handle the hormonal shifts without me having to suffer much from it.

This is only the first month, but I'm excited about this change!

Cravings

There was an ad in the subway station today for 7/11 hots dogs and sodas that said something about cravings. It occurred to me that since I started having the shakes and began adding healthy foods into my diet, I have had zero cravings.

It got me thinking. What are cravings? Where do they come from? What do they mean?

I eat adult gummy vitamins every day and am now eating lots of greens, so the normal cravings for healthy foods have no reason to come to me. That means that cravings are a sign from your body that you need something that you're not getting. What does it mean, then, when we crave things that are not healthy? It leads me to believe that by eating unhealthy foods, we create an unnatural state within our body wherein it then believes itself to be in need of it when we don't have it. Even though this is not true.

What do you crave? Is it healthy? If not, why do you crave it? Do you want it to stop?