Friends are great reminders

This past week, I had the pleasure of sharing my new found success with a good friend of mine. I listened as she expressed her frustration at recent weight gain and then had a time of reflection as she said no to having a salad with me for dinner because "I already had dunkin donuts today, so I'm going all out for dinner."

I remember being there. I remember when my brain was not on my side. I remember when each moment was consumed with thoughts of when I could eat again, which carbs I wanted, when I could get the next sugar high.

Listening to my friend, I had an extreme feeling of empathy; but not just for her, I had it for myself. I thought back to how I had been and thought for so many years and I just felt sorry for that 'me.' The slavery I had to my thoughts was so strong that at one point I tried to join the football team in school and later the army...just to have someone structure my life in such a way that my brain couldn't control me anymore. I was willing to have a drill sergeant scream at me and open myself up to going to war just to find some mental peace.

Ultimately neither of those happened, so my thoughts kept attacking me and sabotaging any of my attempts to change. When I finally decided I was going to get lapband, I was done. I was done fighting, I was done being bullied by my thoughts and I was done feeling worse every morning.

As I've shared in previous posts, my journey to getting the lapband included several epiphanies. The final one was that I simply had to say NO to myself. And I had to mean it. Listening to my friend struggle with her thoughts showed me just how far I've come. I don't try, I don't talk myself into eating healthy, I don't distract myself from thinking about unhealthy foods. I am free, completely.

The recipe for getting where I am is pretty simple:

Say no.
Pray.
Get people to support you without judgement and without jealousy (avoid others who are struggling still - they will unknowingly talk you out of making good decisions)

If you want to know:

What I eat

My exercise routine

My church